Snazzy Snippets #3

11:43 AM


Whew! Where has January gone? I can't believe it's February already. I've been crazy busy with grading as the end of January was the end of first semester, and February was the beginning of second semester. It has been a while since I've posted anything, so I decided to do another Snazzy Snippet so you can get another peek at my WIP Cursed. Click here if you'd like to read more about Cursed.

What: It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, Alyssa at The Devil Orders Takeout and Emily at The Loony Literate post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in. 

This month's themes are inspired by Valentine's Day .

A heartwarming snippet that makes readers go “aww!”
or
A kissing snippet
or
A snippet where love interests first appear together 
(applicable for both future or established relationships)

A snippet where love interests first appear together
"Well, I don’t know who you are, so why should I listen to you?” Cyndra countered, enjoying the argument. She folded her arms across her chest. “Besides, you’re the one who suddenly appeared in my workshop. If anyone has some explaining to do, it’s you.”
The man opened his mouth and then snapped it shut.
“Hah, I’ve got you there, haven’t I?”
The man’s jaw tightened. “My name is Phillip Hira,” he finally relented. “I don’t know how I ended up in your workshop. The last thing I knew I was in Blackthorn Manor breaking a sleeping curse on Lady Aurora Stefani. Now it’s your turn. Who are you?”
“I’m Cyndra Wasser, and I created the sleeping curse you broke.” She strode over to a chest of drawers and rummaged through them, continuing to talk over her shoulder. “I worked really hard on that curse, too. It was supposed to last one hundred years. You’re here because I built a summoning spell and boils curse into the sleeping curse.”
“A boils curse?” Phillip repeated blankly.
“Yes, ah, here we are,” she said, lifting a mirror from the drawer with a triumphant cry. “See for yourself.”
Cyndra held the mirror out to him, and he ripped it from her hands, his eyes transfixed on his face. She watched his face twist with distaste and anger. “Why did you do this to me?”
“I thought it would be obvious,” she said her voice cold. “You curse breakers are bad for business. I like to know who breaks my curses so that I can guard against them the next time.”
“While I disagree with your method of identification, I’ll grant you that the summoning spell allows you to learn more about the person who broke your curse.” He waved a hand, indicating his boil ridden visage. “What purpose could this possibly serve?”
“Consider it your punishment for breaking my curse.”
“Punishment,” he cried out, incredulous. “I was simply doing my job. I was hired by Lord and Lady Stefani to break the sleeping curse on their daughter.”
“And what do you think I was doing? Casting sleeping curses in my spare time?” Cyndra snapped.

 
A kissing snippet (well, an almost kiss)
The man in the wolf mask leaned down toward her face and for a fleeting moment, Cyndra wondered if he was going to kiss her. Of course he’s not going to kiss you. You’re both wearing masks, the rational part of her brain admonished her.
“Thank you for the dance, Cyndra,” he whispered in her ear.
Cyndra gasped. Had she told him her name? No, they hadn’t exchanged names. He couldn’t have recognized her from the wanted poster, could he? She was wearing a mask. Hadn’t Phillip sworn that no one could possibly recognize her if she had the mask on? The only two people in Cool Name Town who knew she was wearing the fox mask were Marina and-. “Phillip?”
The man lifted his wolf mask to reveal a grinning Phillip. “Surprised?”
"You tricked me," Cyndra accused.

As you can see from those two snippets, I haven't written much romance before. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. I am trying to take two characters who instantly disliked each other when they first met, and have them slowly fall in love with each other.

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4 comments

  1. Ooo your WIP sounds so fascinating! I haven't written much romance before either (pretty much none, actually), but I thought that these snippets were great! Their dialogue doesn't seem cheesy or forced at all, which can sometimes happen (it happens with me all the time, haha!). Thanks for sharing! :)
    -Bailey

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and commenting, Bailey! I'm glad to hear the dialogue isn't too cheesy:)

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  2. I think you're doing well with the instant dislike and the slow burn afterwards! I really really love the premise of this story, especially how sassy Cyndra is. Your narration does seem a little stilted at times, but your dialogue = perfection. Looking forward to hearing more!

    Thank you for linking up with us!

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  3. Thank you, Alyssa! I'll be sure to smooth out the narration when I do edits. Sassy characters and dialogue are my favorite to write:)

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